Saturday amusements

Just some snippets from my day...

Me: "Hey Jas. Did you go outside in your sock feet again and drag in the dirt all over the rug? I'm adding 'vacuuming' to your chores."

Jas: "I'm adding shut the fu** up to your list of chores."
***Most of you know my husband quite well and will find the humor in his quick wit.

While driving to Foley, Alabama today we passed a church. The name of the church was 'Overcoming Faith Ministries'. Is this like a ten step program for people who have too much faith? I think they should name their church 'Overflowing Faith Ministries'. Doesn't that make more sense?

The whole reason for the Foley trip was to buy mama clothes that fit. Let's be honest here, it could be a little while before I fit into my pre-pregnancy clothes. It'll happen, just not overnight. While in an Ann Taylor dressing room, my arm shot out of an 'over the head' shirt like a cannon smacking my elbow into the door thus sending the door flying open. The cute little college boy working the dressing room will never be the same. I have to live with this.

Big Al dirtied a diaper as we were leaving Foley and headed for Starbucks. I really didn't want to drive home smelling this thing so I attempted to litter. Awful, I know. I NEVER litter and have been known to pick up other people's trash. Get this, I can't even litter correctly. When I opened the truck door and dropped the diaper out while going through the drive-thru, it landed on the truck's running board. I shut the door in awe of my inability to litter. Then I spot the Starbuck's trash can so I open the door to retrieve my litter. I expertly shoved the dirty diaper up into my door when I shut the truck door. Thank goodness we spend the extra bucks for Pampers, they really are like the Glad bag of diapers.

Bug's new phrase of the day, "you're a big nerd". You know nerd doesn't sound like nerd. He says it all cute with a speech impediment.

And finally...I read Bug a story about how turtles get their shells. It began with the Chinese theory of turtles and shells. Of course I start singing 'ching chong, ching chong'. Childish and just plain wrong of me to do, I know. Bug being the adult in the household says, 'read the book'. This cracked me up so I laughed quite a bit. Bug screamed at the top of his lungs, 'READ THE BOOK!!!'. So I read the book and got the hell out of his room.