Dinner Conversation with Bug

BB: Is Al my daughter?

Me: No, she's my daughter.

BB: When will I have a daughter?

Me: When you get a little older and you have a wife.

BB: I already have a life.

Me: A Wife.

BB: I want a brother.

He's not giving up on this whole brother thing. Just getting more creative with bringing it up.

Bug Zingers

I had to share (before I forget them).

We've been listening to Christmas music while eating lunch. I don't condone this before Thanksgiving, but the rainy weather demanded some holiday cheer.

"Celebrate Me Home" by Kenny Loggins was on the radio. Bug sang, "Silly Bring Me Home". Next time it's on the radio listen closely. I think Bug's lyrics are much better. We've been ad libbing ever since.

BB asked for more lemonade from across the house (pet peeve of mine). I yelled back he'd had plenty. His response, "I know I'm pretty. I need more lemonade!".

Every day he asks what day it is and where are we going. Today we're going to speech therapy. He said, "That's going to suck".

Me - "That's a bad word."

Him - "I wasn't talking to you. I was talking to myself."

Distubed

I'm disturbed. For several reasons.

Picture this:

Giant Grocery store.

Me-walking inside.

A toddler pushing the cute little cart for kids with the huge green flag straight out of the store, down the cart ramp into the middle of the freaking road. Alone.

A cart collector with gaping mouth.

An elderly woman with gaping mouth.

Two phrases keep repeating in my mind...WTF and Where is his mother?

Being a responsible parent, I beckon the child back into the alcove of the store and out of traffic. Does he respond to me? Hell no. I'm a stranger. And being in traffic is fun.

Therefore I walk inside the door, spot a motherly type chit chatting, and bang on the window. She reluctantly takes time away from her important conversation with the Giant worker and stares at me. I mouth, "Is that your son????" while frantically pointing at the tot in traffic. She rolls her fucking eyes and says yes. She then nonchalantly walks out of the store and meets her son in traffic.

After thinking maybe I overreacted to the situation, I glanced at the other shoppers and am reassured by my crazed plan to save the boy. Shock and Awe pretty much sums up the looks on everyone's face.

I wanted to turn her in to child services. I've never been one of those people. I'm just stunned by the dismissal she gave her son. He walked out of a store into a busy intersection and she didn't care. That poor poor child.

Bug Speak

Since this is my journal...a list of Bug's cuteness.

"Al is a baby. I'm a own up (grown up). Babies can't drink soda but own ups can." He drinks IZZE soda which is really carbonated water and fruit juice. Whatever gets us through the day.

When asked what he could do to help after dinner he replied, "Don't talk?". Maybe he'll pass this tidbit on to his dad. That would be so helpful.

I asked him a question about his vampire bat. His response, "Duh. You ij-i-dit. You iji-dit. Id. Idi."
Me - "Idiot?".
Him- "Yes! Idiot!"
Me- Shocked. I'm going to have to watch Spongebob. I bet he uses that word.

BB- My rap is done.
Me- Huh?
BB points to his zipper.
Me- Your zipper is down OR your trap is open.
Great. He's already showing signs of mixing up phrases and words; a source of constant embarrassment for me.

After being sent to bed early for bad behavior, I was on my way out for a girls' night out. BB comes to the top of the steps and says, "Oh bate (great). I was sleeping and you woke me up. Bate (great), now I awake. I'm coming down there to watch TV."
Me- dumbfounded. He's so darn smart. And really good at turning things we say around and using them to his advantage.

To step in, or to not step in. That is the question.

Nanny days are awesome. She's great with the kids. They love her in return. They play. They laugh a lot. They learn quite a bit, including some spanish words which I consider a bonus. Everyone comes out a winner, especially me. I get shit done while she's here.

Today while up in my office doing important things, like Facebooking, I heard BB scream at the nanny to "knock off", "that's what you tink", "I'll do it if I want toooo", and finally "KNOCK OFF". I have faith in her abilities to handle any situation but what do I do when I hear my child being a complete brat? He knows better than to talk to anyone this way. We all know he knows better. So, do I go downstairs and tread on the nanny's ground. Or do I let her handle it?

You be the judge

From Bug's Preschool Teacher:

Week 1:

Upon entering the classroom with his bucket in my hand: "BB needs to carry his own bucket".

FYI- His preschool requires kids to bring buckets. Not the cute little buckets you're thinking of. Big a** mop buckets. Think 10 gallon. They get to decorate them but they are expected to carry them from the car into the school.

Week 2:

During pickup, I was pulled aside and informed that Bug and another boy wouldn't line up after the whistle was blown. They weren't immediately punished therefore they did it again during the next playground time. I was told that if it happened again they would spend playground time in the office. I completely agreed with this punishment. We use the same philosophy at home.

Week 3: I arrived early to preschool for pickup. BB was hanging out alone on the playground looking extremely sad. When the whistle was blown, he lined up but slower than the other kids. I watched the teacher take the shoulder area of his coat and jerk him into line. Not cool in my book.

During the ride home, he said he got in trouble 3 times for not using 'pretzel legs' (Indian style seating).

Week 4: Upon dropping BB off at class, we were running behind but not late. I carried his bucket inside because I didn't want him to fall with that darn bucket weighing him down. His teacher did not say Good Morning instead said "BB, you need to carry your bucket'.

Yes, we get it. The boy should carry his bucket. Couldn't you say good morning before lecturing? Not cool again in my book.

Obviously I'm keeping a list. I'm so tempted to talk to the director because I feel we're treated differently. I hate to say it's because we aren't members of the church where BB attends preschool. It's been a month and I keep thinking his teacher is having a bad day... every Tuesday and Thursday it seems. My plan is to watch the other kids and see if she treats them differently also. Then I'm taking my list and making an appointment with the director. Aren't all kids, hyper or calm viewed the same in the eyes of God? Thought so.

Let's hear it for the birds........

While walking from the car to the house, a bird shat on me. It landed right on my front pants pocket. How does that even happen? I was wearing a jacket. Totally missed my head, glasses, nose, jacket and landed right on my front pocket. I can only venture to guess that it happened this way because I've lost weight.

Yes! CrossFit is the BEST workout ever. It's worth the money. It's worth the industrial looking warehouse turned gym. It's worth suffering through summers with no A/C. It's even worth the pre-workout diarrhea days dreading the intense, damn difficult WOD. I'm so glad I got off that stupid elliptical trainer and joined my CrossFit gym because I am finally getting the results I deserve. And tomorrow is Fight Gone Bad day. I'm so nervous about that workout, the pre-workout diarrhea has already begun.