Wisdom from a toddler

BB says some of the funniest stuff...ever. I've never met anyone funnier than my child. Well, maybe my husband. Maybe. In the midst of all the funny phrases he comes up with, he has one phrase he repeats a lot.

"The man's got to do what the man's got to do."

Yeah, it's not completely correct but so what. Since hearing him repeat this almost like a mantra whenever he comes across something difficult or he accomplishes something that makes him proud, I've started using it almost like a mantra too.

It's really kind of empowering.

This is how it usually works its way in:

9:00 most evenings the kids are in bed but I'm still catching up on laundry. I don't usually have the energy but push myself through. Occasionally I use his phrase because a 'man's got to take care of himself too'.

When I don't really feel like working out but know I'll feel better if I do.... the phrase almost lifts my ass off the couch once I've spoken those words.

Or sometimes when I know I shouldn't have a piece of chocolate but denying yourself sweet treats ALL the time is just wrong and leads to binge eating... the phrase makes it okay to have one treat. But only one.

Or like now when the kids are toeing the line between good and awful and are begging for a later bedtime. The phrase once again lets me know that I should salvage my sanity instead of catering to their desires.

'The man's got to do what the man's got to do.'

All in a day's work.

I've been filling out military forms for the new GI Bill transferability thing. And I must say, the military always using the lowest bidder for website design just sucks. Could that damn form be any more difficult?? Yes it could be, thank goodness it isn't. I have a feeling this works in their favor. I'm sure others have gotten so frustrated and decided not to seek free benefits. Not me. I'm powering through.

We're also searching for a new sitter/nanny. Nothing is going our way. Instead of freaking out and giving myself a migraine, I'm going to empower "The Secret". Let me just visualize the perfect sitter arriving every day and let's watch it happen. While I'm at it, I'll also visualize a free education. Why not, right. The author says the universe is just waiting for me to do this.

Living with an old dog tests my patience every hour. I say every hour because that's how often I let him out to the bathroom. This is Jas's dog. He's about 11-12 years old and as senile as they come. Did I mention he's a wiener dog?? Cute, loyal, dumb as a rock, great with the kids, and known to be stubborn on purpose. Here's an example: Due to the mess little Goose makes, Jas solved the problem by crating him all day except for bathroom breaks. So, Goo repaid me (not quite fair) by doing his thing in the crate. Was Jas home to clean the crate?? Nope. I repaid Goose with a trip to the vet to see if they could A)fix the problem with medication; or B) let him 'forever sleep'. Ultimately Goose won because the vet thinks we just need to spend more time with him. In turn, I put a crate in Jas's office so HE can spend time with his dog. That last grand idea of mine lasted a whole 2 days. Goose and I are back to hourly outdoor visits and I'm constantly cooing his good behavior. Goose and I have been in this vicious cycle before. He wins me back over and then while we have a playgroup at the house, he poops under the train table. It's truly a love/hate thing with Goo.

The greatest feeling this week... our master bathroom (mold central) still works and is mold-free. On the flip side (because there is always a flip side with us), the outlets near and inside the bathroom emit a burning smell if you're silly enough to use them to dry your hair. Again, I'm so glad we did not buy this big ass money pit.

The kids are thriving. Baby Al finally packed on weight and eats everything in sight. She runs to the fridge and says, 'EAT, FOOD'. Seeing this makes me happy.

We made a difficult decision to suspend Bug's private speech therapy lessons. I felt he viewed the therapist as a friend and wasn't showing $100 worth of improvement each week. He still attends the free speech therapy through the elementary school near our home. He can now easily say 'v, c, k' words. I don't even have to remind him about tongue placement, he does it all by himself. Again, hearing this makes me so happy.

I guess my motto this week should be, you win some and you lose some. As long as I come out ahead it's a good week.

Dinner Conversation with Bug

BB: Is Al my daughter?

Me: No, she's my daughter.

BB: When will I have a daughter?

Me: When you get a little older and you have a wife.

BB: I already have a life.

Me: A Wife.

BB: I want a brother.

He's not giving up on this whole brother thing. Just getting more creative with bringing it up.

Bug Zingers

I had to share (before I forget them).

We've been listening to Christmas music while eating lunch. I don't condone this before Thanksgiving, but the rainy weather demanded some holiday cheer.

"Celebrate Me Home" by Kenny Loggins was on the radio. Bug sang, "Silly Bring Me Home". Next time it's on the radio listen closely. I think Bug's lyrics are much better. We've been ad libbing ever since.

BB asked for more lemonade from across the house (pet peeve of mine). I yelled back he'd had plenty. His response, "I know I'm pretty. I need more lemonade!".

Every day he asks what day it is and where are we going. Today we're going to speech therapy. He said, "That's going to suck".

Me - "That's a bad word."

Him - "I wasn't talking to you. I was talking to myself."

Bug Speak

Since this is my journal...a list of Bug's cuteness.

"Al is a baby. I'm a own up (grown up). Babies can't drink soda but own ups can." He drinks IZZE soda which is really carbonated water and fruit juice. Whatever gets us through the day.

When asked what he could do to help after dinner he replied, "Don't talk?". Maybe he'll pass this tidbit on to his dad. That would be so helpful.

I asked him a question about his vampire bat. His response, "Duh. You ij-i-dit. You iji-dit. Id. Idi."
Me - "Idiot?".
Him- "Yes! Idiot!"
Me- Shocked. I'm going to have to watch Spongebob. I bet he uses that word.

BB- My rap is done.
Me- Huh?
BB points to his zipper.
Me- Your zipper is down OR your trap is open.
Great. He's already showing signs of mixing up phrases and words; a source of constant embarrassment for me.

After being sent to bed early for bad behavior, I was on my way out for a girls' night out. BB comes to the top of the steps and says, "Oh bate (great). I was sleeping and you woke me up. Bate (great), now I awake. I'm coming down there to watch TV."
Me- dumbfounded. He's so darn smart. And really good at turning things we say around and using them to his advantage.

You be the judge

From Bug's Preschool Teacher:

Week 1:

Upon entering the classroom with his bucket in my hand: "BB needs to carry his own bucket".

FYI- His preschool requires kids to bring buckets. Not the cute little buckets you're thinking of. Big a** mop buckets. Think 10 gallon. They get to decorate them but they are expected to carry them from the car into the school.

Week 2:

During pickup, I was pulled aside and informed that Bug and another boy wouldn't line up after the whistle was blown. They weren't immediately punished therefore they did it again during the next playground time. I was told that if it happened again they would spend playground time in the office. I completely agreed with this punishment. We use the same philosophy at home.

Week 3: I arrived early to preschool for pickup. BB was hanging out alone on the playground looking extremely sad. When the whistle was blown, he lined up but slower than the other kids. I watched the teacher take the shoulder area of his coat and jerk him into line. Not cool in my book.

During the ride home, he said he got in trouble 3 times for not using 'pretzel legs' (Indian style seating).

Week 4: Upon dropping BB off at class, we were running behind but not late. I carried his bucket inside because I didn't want him to fall with that darn bucket weighing him down. His teacher did not say Good Morning instead said "BB, you need to carry your bucket'.

Yes, we get it. The boy should carry his bucket. Couldn't you say good morning before lecturing? Not cool again in my book.

Obviously I'm keeping a list. I'm so tempted to talk to the director because I feel we're treated differently. I hate to say it's because we aren't members of the church where BB attends preschool. It's been a month and I keep thinking his teacher is having a bad day... every Tuesday and Thursday it seems. My plan is to watch the other kids and see if she treats them differently also. Then I'm taking my list and making an appointment with the director. Aren't all kids, hyper or calm viewed the same in the eyes of God? Thought so.

Lemons

It's been how long? Where the hell have I been? And what have I been doing? June 7th was my last post and it's August 24th. Well friends, I've been contemplating life. When life throws you lemons what do you do?

Most important contemplation and the biggest lemon...Al was (mostly) diagnosed with neurofibromatosis. Back up, when she was one month old she started getting cafe au lait spots all over her body. (Cafe au lait spots = similar to birth marks the color of coffee with cream.) More than six or seven large ones are usually enough for a diagnosis of neurofibromatosis (NF1). She has 9 large ones at last count and many smaller ones. She's had 2 MRI's, a CT scan, an EEG and several other fun medical tests. All of which were clear. One would normally breathe a huge sigh of relief. Well, NF1 is a waiting game. She could develop more symptoms over time or live her life with just cafe au lait spots. For now, we wait. I took one whole day to wallow. Now we're proactive and dealing with whatever comes our way. This month it's low muscle tone and no weight gain. Are they related to NF1? Maybe. No one really knows for sure which is why Al is in the NF1 research study. I know I could've used more positive information on this disease. For fun, just google NF1 and take a look at the photos that come up. I sound bitter but I'm not. I never was. Just worried about my girl. Dealing with something like this will change your perspective on life. It's made me a better person. I worry a lot less about the little things and more about the important stuff.

We took our first family vacation this summer. We packed up and drove 3 hours to Philadelphia for Sesame Place. Great time! The kids experienced water slides, roller coasters, cotton candy, super long twisty suckers, and lots of tomfoolery!

Bug learned lots of new words while on vacation. He has mastered the use of sh**, da*n it, and fu**. He really gets a lot of variety out of the f-word. There's 'f-in' and insert any type of toy you can imagine. Sometimes he throws out a plain ole 'fu**' if something doesn't go his way. On occasion he's insisted his sister hurry up and get in the 'f-in' car. It's just great. I've tried explaining that it's a horrible word but that didn't work. Now I'm trying to ignore it or take away treats. Did I mention he starts a Methodist preschool in a few weeks? We could get kicked out before he has a chance to catch the flu.

It doesn't seem like I've done much with my summer but if you checked any of my three calendars you would notice that we don't have much down time. I cherish the mornings we don't have to be anywhere. It's rare for us to head out to Target just to have something to do. So to answer my own question, what to do when life throws lemons at you? Turn them around a few times to find the pretty side and then display the f***ers on your blog. And remember, if it doesn't kill you, it makes you stronger.

Hello my friend, hello

Go ahead and use your very best Neil Diamond voice, I dare you.

Facebook claims way too much of my blogger time. It's ridiculous. Well, no more. Now school will claim all of my free time.

Surprise, Surprise...I was offered a Fellowship Grant through Drexel's online school. The grant gives 30% off all classes as long as I am a part-time student. With two kids, I'd have to be superwoman to take more than two classes at a time and do well in them. The kicker just happens to require that I begin this summer. Just thinking about starting so soon gives me IBS. My brain is not ready. But my life is ready. Luckily, we found our nanny early and she 'fits' in our home quite nicely. Bug has been enrolled in preschool two days a week beginning in September. Combine that with two nanny days and we're set. In theory, I should have plenty of uninterrupted time to devote to school.

What has the child been up to? Thanks to him, I'm almost never embarrassed anymore. Anyone ever have days where you leave the house and check to make sure your pants are on? I do. I thought it would be really embarrassing to look down and lack pants. Turns out, after life with Bug that wouldn't be so embarrassing after all. Now we've entered the tooting stage. He can toot on demand and he does. In elevators, on benches while some poor random soul is inserting the child's foot in a pair of shoes, in Ikea while a sweet little lady is commenting on his cuteness, and during any other time where tooting would be inappropriate.

Random Bug comments:

Walking through an orchard after picking strawberries:

Bug: Mom, you have a big ole wien in your butt.

Me: (Looking stricken and very pale all of a sudden.)

Bug: I'm just kiddin', it's your camera.

Me: (Technically, the camera was in my back pocket.)

Jas yelling at Bug to go to his room because he was tormenting his sister.

Bug: I'm not scared of you. (As he sprints to his room.)

In the grocery store an older women is checking out produce:

Bug: Hey! Have you seen our baby? Isn't she cute?

At the diner after being seated:

Bug: See our baby? Hey, did you see our baby???!!!!

Talking to my mom (his momo) on the phone:

Bug: See our baby? She's so cute.

Thank goodness he loves his sister.

After knocking Alice to the floor and stealing her toy causing her to scream bloody murder...

Me: Go To Your Room.

Bug: How bout I kiss Alice and say sorry 3 times?

Me: Try it.

Alice: (Immediately soothed.)

On our way to a short errand Bug packed his backpack full of toys.

Alice: (Begins screaming in the car)

Bug: (Opens his bag of goodies and passes her a toy) Here you go Allie. Don't pie (cry).

Me: Did you bring any toys for you?

Bug: Nope. I didn't want her to pie in the car.

Me = melting heart.

Life is good.

Zingers

Bug has been full of it lately. Here's a list of the zingers I can remember from this week.

Me: Trying to get him buckled in to his seat. "We do this rigamarole every day. Sit still."

Bug: Did you say cinnamon rolls? Yummm, I love cinnamon rolls. 

Bug: I have an idea. A good idea. How bout Aldice and I play a game?

Me: She's too little to play with the games.

Bug: How bout I pour water on her head.

Me: Why would you do that?

Bug: So, she'll grow like a plant and get bigger like me.

After a long car ride home from the gym, Bug could tell I was agitated.

Bug: Good beef mommy. I'm worn out.

Translation: Good grief.

Me while picking up the kids from the gym play area: Hey Bug, who's your new friend?

Bug: This is sock shoe boy.

I have no idea about this one. Unless the kid's name is Joshua - that sounds a little like sock shoe boy. There's also a girl he refers to as purple girl. This sounds a little bit like a couple of superheros or a cartoon, right? Sock Shoe Boy and Purple Girl save the day!

Talk to the hand

Yesterday I took the kids to the gym so they could play in the playground for a while. Before going inside I asked Bug our number 1 rule. He said, "No thumbs in my mouth". Yes! (He's a thumbsucker and we have picked up some nasty germs over the years.) There were lots of kids at the club so I knew they would have a great time. I worked out for an hour and came back to pick the kiddos up. I caught Bug slurping down some kid's bottled water. It seems we need to add a rule.

After our lunch, Bug held up his hand and told me to talk to his hand. I grabbed his hand and began a conversation. Then he asked me to talk to his ear. So I did. It wasn't until I reiterated all of this to Jas that I realized some girl probably held up her hand and told Bug to 'talk to the hand'. I imagine my son did what I did, grabbed the hand and began a conversation. After laughing each time I recounted the story to my mom and my sister I also felt a little bit like we failed the first of many 'cool' tests. Ah well, I wasn't cool until I embraced my inner nerd. Bug will probably be the same way.

In case you didn't know

#1 Moon sand is dangerous. Don't ever EVER accidentally blow any of it in your eye. Bug accidentally blew some in his eye and ended up with abrasions around his eye...from rubbing. He also had extremely red eyes for three days. Moon sand now lives in the garage. We're saving it in case something strange happens to his eyes. It could be necessary in court. You just never know.

#2 If you get fillings from the dentist and they feel slightly high go back for an adjustment. I did not and now feel like I pulled a neck muscle AND have TMJ pain. Serious TMJ pain. In my defense, I thought I pulled a neck muscle. I didn't think the two were related. 

#3 Don't confuse Andy Rooney with Andy Dick. They are two entirely different people.

#4 Life in the kitchen ends when sink plumbing goes down the drain. No cooking, no cleaning, no counter space because of all the cleaners normally living under the sink, and being 'green' goes right down the tubes due to paper plates and plastic cups. 

#5 If the sink craps out and the plumber tells you you can still use the sink, don't. Especially if the plumbing isn't attached to the sink. Really, REALLY don't turn on the disposal. It's messy. And just plain gross.

Scenes from the day

Today we had an evaluation with a speech therapist for Bug. Baby Al and I were allowed in the room to watch. It was really all I could do not to laugh out loud.

Here are just a few things I heard.

ST showing a picture of a boy holding his stomach: This little boy seems to be holding his stomach. What do you think he's feeling?

Bug: When you stomach hurt you sometimes po up. Then you should po up in the pash can. 

Translation: .....sometimes you throw up and you should throw up in the trash can. This was a valuable lesson learned this week when Bug had the stomach flu. He rolled over with his hand over his mouth saying he needed to 'give up'. His mouth was aimed at my face. I had to lay the ground work for future throw up sessions by telling him that no one should ever throw up (give up) on a mama. Always hit the trash can. He listened well.

ST: Here is a picture of a boy with dirty hands. What should he do?

Bug: When my hands is dirty my mommy says, "DON'T suck your thumb. You get germs". 

ST: What do you like to eat with a spoon?

Bug: (leaning forward with elbows on the table) Hmmmm. Let me tink about this. I like to play in the water with my poon.

ST: Can you point to the little shoes?

Bug: No. No, no no. You can't wear Baby Al's shoes. They too little for you. You wear you own shoes.

I was in tears in the back of that room. Yes, I think she caught all of his problem areas. And no, I don't think those were the answers she wanted from him. But by golly they made sense. My child cracks me up. He knew some things I never thought he would remember. Kids are like sponges! I'm just glad he didn't tell her that she has a gina or curse at her. All in all, it was a very good day out in public.

Not your average day

Last Friday I received a call (finally) from Al's new genetics doctor. She's the chief of Genetics at Georgetown Hospital and she called me, personally. FYI- She scored so many points in my book just for calling. She had received Al's records and wanted to see us Monday (today). This worried me quite a bit. Made me think she saw something in Al's records that other doctors had missed. Of course I was anxious about going. Plus I had to drive to DC and maneuver two kids through a huge hospital and entertain both of them while restraining Bug. (He's way too smart to be loose. He'd have their whole computer systems rewired before they knew what hit them.)

Just a few obstacles we encountered:

Plan A: Put Al in the baby Bjorn and single stroller Bug so he'd be strapped in. BUT the single stroller had been man handled too many times by the hubby that it wouldn't even open. Upon closer inspection...the whole frame work was bent. I struggled so much with that damn stroller with Al in the Bjorn that a strange man approached apprehensively and offered to help. Muggers are usually my main concern in parking garages but today I willed them to try me. Just try me.

The parking garage at GH leaves so much to be desired. There are plenty of elevators but none of them are accessible from three of the four parking aisles. We found a hole in the aluminum fence (construction I guess) and I lifted the double stroller over cars just to get through. It was a small feat.

The doors, all three of them leading to the hospital from the garage, are not handicap accessible. Anybody ever seen a mom trying to push a double stroller through a door?? Please help her. Luckily one very sweet woman helped me all the way to our floor. Bless her.

Once we were in our room awaiting the doctor, Bug decided to talk about 'ginas' and 'weins'. He swears he has a 'gina'. I keep telling him it's a 'wein'. I was so happy a poster encouraging reading lead his thoughts elsewhere.

Back to our new genetics doctor. She's absolutely wonderful. Very thorough and proactive. Al is finally in good hands. She's going to need physical therapy. She's been trying to crawl for months but never took off. She has very weak muscles in certain areas, could be a genetic thing. Definitely something her pediatrician should have picked up on a few months ago but didn't. She's going to have another eye exam and an x-ray of her pelvic region to check for any abnormalities. The genetics doctor will follow her progress until we know for sure she does not have NF. I'm happy. Finally we're searching for answers.

The new doctor also wants to see Bug and evaluate his speech problem. Hey hey, maybe we'll know for sure if he's apraxic or just needs speech therapy. I hope he just needs speech therapy. Apraxia can pose problems for kids for a long time.

The funniest thing about all of this...the hubs and I had a slight spat about doctors this evening. When we were searching for doctors several months ago, I wanted to find them one at Johns Hopkins or Georgetown. He said this, "Why would you do that? Why take them to a teaching hospital?" Um, probably because it's a really really good hospital. Ass. Now, just look where we are. Did I mention Al's new doctor is the Chief of Genetics. Yahtzee!

Bug Zingers

Me: It's time to pick up toys.
Bug: After making a big show of trying to pick up toys but failing... Mommy, my hands are just too small for poys.


Me: Hey there big boy!
Bug: No! I'm not big boy. I'm robot boy.
Me: Hey there robot boy!
Bug: Noooo! You no hey the robot boy.


Me: Bug, you're going to the doctor today and she's going to look at your bottom.
Bug: Well that'd be a little boss (gross) wouldn't it?
Me: Yeah, I guess it is a little gross.
Bug: If the dogger (doctor) tickles my wein, I'm going to tell her to STOP IT.

Me: What do you want to do today?
Bug: I want to do manwork with my fun daddy.
It's killing the boy to have his daddy gone all day at school and then the library every night.

Me: Do you want to go to the playground (gym) today?

Bug: Ness (yes). And me play with kids?

Me: Yes.

Bug: Kids love me.

Facebook claims too much of my day

I haven't blogged because I signed up with Facebook. It's an addiction. I think I might quit. This is why. Everything I do during the day pops into my head like this:
Rachael is...
doing laundry
talking to her mom
washing dishes
playing with the kids
hating life because of the laundry
having a bad hair day
talking to the dogs

I HATE the way I think about every little thing I do and how it might seem interesting to someone on FB. Ugh. I won't quit though. It's too much fun to see what everyone else does with their day.

FB claims so much of my time that I have chosen to ignore a strange noise coming from the basement. Thank goodness I have FB to blame otherwise I'd have to fess up to the spooky voodoo room that DOES NOT freak me out at all. It's just a half room under the basement only accessible by a ladder. The entrance to this room is near the ceiling of the laundry room and it's a three foot by two foot opening through the cinder block wall. It's creepy. I've never actually climbed up to look but I don't like it at all. #1 I'm claustrophobic. #2 It screams voodoo room. Jas and Bug did some man work in there a few weeks ago. Guess what...Bug loves this room and wants to make it his new playroom. Jas swears it's clean and would make a fun playroom when he's older. Which brings me to my next blog...WTF is up with men and their strange way of thinking? More to come...

My funny Bug

All week Bug has been saying, "Bote fo Mama". Which translates to Vote for Obama. So this morning I told him Obama won. And his reply..."Mama won? Two...threeeeee". I guess the age of three is too young to even slightly comprehend history in the making.

Had to share

Bug has been so cute the last few weeks but I never posted any of his zingers. Here are the ones I could remember:

Me: Focus on your food.
Bug: Me no see focus. Me just see pood.

Me: HELP me. Put your jacket on NOW!
Bug: Mommy, do you hear me? You're hurting my ears.

Me: Bug, please talk to your mamo on the phone.
HE talked so long about monsters and his sweet Al and his robot costume...
Bug: Opay, now give me some M's (m&m's).

Bug: Bote for O'Mama
Translation: Vote for Obama.

After touching his tings (things).
Bug: Mommy, look me. Listen me. I told you no, no, no. You no touch me tings.
It's not fun hearing your words coming out of your child's mouth.

Bug: You should try this. It's M's. It's chocolate and yummy. Tome on, this is for yous.


And I know you all have been wondering if my bad karma left...and I think it has. I went to Lowe's today and made it home with everything, even the things in the bottom of the cart. The plumber came today to fix the shower. He dropped everything. Then the shower head just fell off the shower wall...and broke. He said he was having a bad day. Is it possible for me to transfer my bad karma to someone else? He left without charging me for fixing the shower. I tipped him a $20 in case the bad karma wanted to stick around. Hopefully his day will be better now too.

Quick Update

Just a quick update:

We (kids and I) are in Missouri right now. We're staying until Sunday so Bug can have an early birthday party with people other than Jas and me.

Jas flies in Friday for the party and to drive us to Maryland on Sunday.

We move directly into our new rental house Sunday evening. I've seen pictures and it's really neat. I can't wait.

Our goods will arrive Tuesday and I'll get to unpack all by myself...again. Jas is really busy since med school began Monday.

We found renters for our home in Pensacola. Our renters just happen to be with the people I didn't like. They were the parents. They have two teenagers and are retired Army people. I'm okay with this. So far, they haven't complained about the trash we left behind (no choice) or the busted screen door. Maybe this will work out for all of us. I feel for them if Gustav heads their way. -And of course I worry about Dallas and family in the surrounding area. Stay safe!!

That's it for now. We're busy visiting family. I'll have lots of new blogs once we are settled. Bug has had some zingers lately!

Two blogs in one day

I should be doing so many other things but Bug said something so funny today I had to share. (Could I have added on any more to that sentence?)

the scene: Sonic

We pull into our slot and I ask Bug if he wants a burger or chicken.

Bug: Roll you window down mommy. This the ice peem house.

Me: You're getting ice cream. First you need lunch. Do you want chicken or a burger?

Bug: I want ice peem.

WE do this whole conversation about three more times before I decide to mix it up on him.

Me: How about a burger?

Bug: How about ice peem?


I just had to share. It's so rare that we really have a conversation. Usually he tells me I'm a broken record or I need to do something else. He won this round and got ice cream. He also acted like a big boy and ate his burger. (Well we shared a burger. Who can eat a whole burger AND ice peem?)

Anyone remember Kramer?

Do you all remember Cosmo Kramer from Seinfeld? He always made me laugh. I guess he reminded me a little of myself with the random falls and other antics. My good friend Susan and I used to laugh at her little girl because she had several Kramer moments. One of which involved a random hand swipe resulting in a complete upheaval of a Starbucks countertop in Japan.

Well my son has now joined the ranks of Kramer's worldwide. While climbing onto a barstool, he somehow managed to bring it crashing down on top of him completely pinning both arms and legs. He couldn't move. He couldn't speak. The only body part I could see was a twitching foot. We picked him up, dusted him off and he took off screaming, "SUCK IT NAZI". *Which you all know he meant, "SUCK IT YAHTZEE".

Side note: His speech therapist was so impressed with his vocabulary this week. Hmmm.