Bug Zingers

I had to share (before I forget them).

We've been listening to Christmas music while eating lunch. I don't condone this before Thanksgiving, but the rainy weather demanded some holiday cheer.

"Celebrate Me Home" by Kenny Loggins was on the radio. Bug sang, "Silly Bring Me Home". Next time it's on the radio listen closely. I think Bug's lyrics are much better. We've been ad libbing ever since.

BB asked for more lemonade from across the house (pet peeve of mine). I yelled back he'd had plenty. His response, "I know I'm pretty. I need more lemonade!".

Every day he asks what day it is and where are we going. Today we're going to speech therapy. He said, "That's going to suck".

Me - "That's a bad word."

Him - "I wasn't talking to you. I was talking to myself."

Zingers

Bug has been full of it lately. Here's a list of the zingers I can remember from this week.

Me: Trying to get him buckled in to his seat. "We do this rigamarole every day. Sit still."

Bug: Did you say cinnamon rolls? Yummm, I love cinnamon rolls. 

Bug: I have an idea. A good idea. How bout Aldice and I play a game?

Me: She's too little to play with the games.

Bug: How bout I pour water on her head.

Me: Why would you do that?

Bug: So, she'll grow like a plant and get bigger like me.

After a long car ride home from the gym, Bug could tell I was agitated.

Bug: Good beef mommy. I'm worn out.

Translation: Good grief.

Me while picking up the kids from the gym play area: Hey Bug, who's your new friend?

Bug: This is sock shoe boy.

I have no idea about this one. Unless the kid's name is Joshua - that sounds a little like sock shoe boy. There's also a girl he refers to as purple girl. This sounds a little bit like a couple of superheros or a cartoon, right? Sock Shoe Boy and Purple Girl save the day!

Talk to the hand

Yesterday I took the kids to the gym so they could play in the playground for a while. Before going inside I asked Bug our number 1 rule. He said, "No thumbs in my mouth". Yes! (He's a thumbsucker and we have picked up some nasty germs over the years.) There were lots of kids at the club so I knew they would have a great time. I worked out for an hour and came back to pick the kiddos up. I caught Bug slurping down some kid's bottled water. It seems we need to add a rule.

After our lunch, Bug held up his hand and told me to talk to his hand. I grabbed his hand and began a conversation. Then he asked me to talk to his ear. So I did. It wasn't until I reiterated all of this to Jas that I realized some girl probably held up her hand and told Bug to 'talk to the hand'. I imagine my son did what I did, grabbed the hand and began a conversation. After laughing each time I recounted the story to my mom and my sister I also felt a little bit like we failed the first of many 'cool' tests. Ah well, I wasn't cool until I embraced my inner nerd. Bug will probably be the same way.

Scenes from the day

Today we had an evaluation with a speech therapist for Bug. Baby Al and I were allowed in the room to watch. It was really all I could do not to laugh out loud.

Here are just a few things I heard.

ST showing a picture of a boy holding his stomach: This little boy seems to be holding his stomach. What do you think he's feeling?

Bug: When you stomach hurt you sometimes po up. Then you should po up in the pash can. 

Translation: .....sometimes you throw up and you should throw up in the trash can. This was a valuable lesson learned this week when Bug had the stomach flu. He rolled over with his hand over his mouth saying he needed to 'give up'. His mouth was aimed at my face. I had to lay the ground work for future throw up sessions by telling him that no one should ever throw up (give up) on a mama. Always hit the trash can. He listened well.

ST: Here is a picture of a boy with dirty hands. What should he do?

Bug: When my hands is dirty my mommy says, "DON'T suck your thumb. You get germs". 

ST: What do you like to eat with a spoon?

Bug: (leaning forward with elbows on the table) Hmmmm. Let me tink about this. I like to play in the water with my poon.

ST: Can you point to the little shoes?

Bug: No. No, no no. You can't wear Baby Al's shoes. They too little for you. You wear you own shoes.

I was in tears in the back of that room. Yes, I think she caught all of his problem areas. And no, I don't think those were the answers she wanted from him. But by golly they made sense. My child cracks me up. He knew some things I never thought he would remember. Kids are like sponges! I'm just glad he didn't tell her that she has a gina or curse at her. All in all, it was a very good day out in public.

Bug Zingers

Me: It's time to pick up toys.
Bug: After making a big show of trying to pick up toys but failing... Mommy, my hands are just too small for poys.


Me: Hey there big boy!
Bug: No! I'm not big boy. I'm robot boy.
Me: Hey there robot boy!
Bug: Noooo! You no hey the robot boy.


Me: Bug, you're going to the doctor today and she's going to look at your bottom.
Bug: Well that'd be a little boss (gross) wouldn't it?
Me: Yeah, I guess it is a little gross.
Bug: If the dogger (doctor) tickles my wein, I'm going to tell her to STOP IT.

Me: What do you want to do today?
Bug: I want to do manwork with my fun daddy.
It's killing the boy to have his daddy gone all day at school and then the library every night.

Me: Do you want to go to the playground (gym) today?

Bug: Ness (yes). And me play with kids?

Me: Yes.

Bug: Kids love me.

My funny Bug

All week Bug has been saying, "Bote fo Mama". Which translates to Vote for Obama. So this morning I told him Obama won. And his reply..."Mama won? Two...threeeeee". I guess the age of three is too young to even slightly comprehend history in the making.

Had to share

Bug has been so cute the last few weeks but I never posted any of his zingers. Here are the ones I could remember:

Me: Focus on your food.
Bug: Me no see focus. Me just see pood.

Me: HELP me. Put your jacket on NOW!
Bug: Mommy, do you hear me? You're hurting my ears.

Me: Bug, please talk to your mamo on the phone.
HE talked so long about monsters and his sweet Al and his robot costume...
Bug: Opay, now give me some M's (m&m's).

Bug: Bote for O'Mama
Translation: Vote for Obama.

After touching his tings (things).
Bug: Mommy, look me. Listen me. I told you no, no, no. You no touch me tings.
It's not fun hearing your words coming out of your child's mouth.

Bug: You should try this. It's M's. It's chocolate and yummy. Tome on, this is for yous.


And I know you all have been wondering if my bad karma left...and I think it has. I went to Lowe's today and made it home with everything, even the things in the bottom of the cart. The plumber came today to fix the shower. He dropped everything. Then the shower head just fell off the shower wall...and broke. He said he was having a bad day. Is it possible for me to transfer my bad karma to someone else? He left without charging me for fixing the shower. I tipped him a $20 in case the bad karma wanted to stick around. Hopefully his day will be better now too.