Boo at the Zoo

We worked on Bug's costume all week. I went to Lowe's several times for paint, tape and supplies. I found the perfect box, taped it and painted it. I found a box for his head and cut it down to size, taped it and painted it. Jas and I found several pieces of robot 'flair' for the front. Our flair included little purple laser lights for eyes which had to be put on styrofoam pieces, glued inside his helmet and painted silver. We used a battery operated 'tap on' light for the front of his costume and painted that silver also. He could tap it on and off as much as he wanted. Then we even painted a paper bag and velcroed it to his back for collecting candy! His arms and legs were dryer vent tubes (of course) but ours were attached to suspenders for easy on and off trips to the restroom. After all our hard work, his costume was super cool. And he looked so cute in it. So, when we went to the zoo for Boo night this is what Bug looked like....


Yep, he rode in the wagon all night long and would not wear the 'tume'. That's okay. We got lots of comments on it since we were the ONLY people who made a costume. It was fun. Bug has been dying to wear it now that we're home. I'm sure he'll trick or treat in it and I will be able to take better photos.

Al was a ladybug and refused to look into the camera. This is the best I could do.

Had to share

Bug has been so cute the last few weeks but I never posted any of his zingers. Here are the ones I could remember:

Me: Focus on your food.
Bug: Me no see focus. Me just see pood.

Me: HELP me. Put your jacket on NOW!
Bug: Mommy, do you hear me? You're hurting my ears.

Me: Bug, please talk to your mamo on the phone.
HE talked so long about monsters and his sweet Al and his robot costume...
Bug: Opay, now give me some M's (m&m's).

Bug: Bote for O'Mama
Translation: Vote for Obama.

After touching his tings (things).
Bug: Mommy, look me. Listen me. I told you no, no, no. You no touch me tings.
It's not fun hearing your words coming out of your child's mouth.

Bug: You should try this. It's M's. It's chocolate and yummy. Tome on, this is for yous.


And I know you all have been wondering if my bad karma left...and I think it has. I went to Lowe's today and made it home with everything, even the things in the bottom of the cart. The plumber came today to fix the shower. He dropped everything. Then the shower head just fell off the shower wall...and broke. He said he was having a bad day. Is it possible for me to transfer my bad karma to someone else? He left without charging me for fixing the shower. I tipped him a $20 in case the bad karma wanted to stick around. Hopefully his day will be better now too.

It could be worse, somehow.

I'm sure my 'dumb' state could be worse somehow. I just don't know how. This week I have done so many things that are just crazy. I scrubbed the floors by hand of course. I even rubbed on a shine just for fun. Later I accidentally dumped an entire bottle of formula all over the floor AND cabinets. That's just clumsiness though.

Here comes the real embarrassing cases.

I ordered heartworm pills for my dog who is staying in StL with my mom. I planned to send the pills to Stl so, imagine my surprise when they showed up here in Maryland. I don't even remember doing it. I still would swear that I typed in my mom's address but I didn't. Not if they arrived here.

I bought a new double jogging stroller. An expensive Bob stroller. I've researched them for months. I knew exactly which one I wanted and the site I wanted to buy it from. So, I ordered it last week. It was even on sale! My new stroller arrived on Saturday and Bug helped put it together. It was so cool. I couldn't wait to take it out for a spin. Jas came in and I showed it to him. Then I tried to turn it around in the living room, you know to show off the 360' swivel action. The wheel wouldn't swivel. It wouldn't swivel because I bought the wrong darn stroller. I completely confused myself after reading all the reviews about the different strollers. Who knew the Duallie and the Revolution were the same damn stroller but one has a swivel wheel? I bet you can guess which one swivels.

After emailing the company, they are paying my shipping fees and exchanging this stroller for the one I want. I just had to take it all apart and make it fit back in the original box.

I made a meal to pop in the oven and waited the 20 minutes for it to cook. When I opened the oven it wasn't hot because I forgot to turn the oven on.

What is going on? I don't work outside the home. I work plenty in the home. I've tried to simplify my life by cutting out the things I hate to do. I hate to grocery shop so I order groceries online and have them delivered. Huge relief to me. It's not possible for me to do lawn work (unless I strap Al on my front and Bug to my back) so we found a company to cut the grass, trim the bushes, rake leaves and spray for fleas, ticks and bugs. Huge relief for me again. Why is my brain overloaded right now? I get plenty of sleep. I need to work out, hence the stroller. Maybe that will help. I guess we'll see in about a week. Hopefully I'll be back to normal soon.

Update:
Last night while pulling into a parking space, a young girl whipped her Volvo S90 out and smacked my left fender. Jas was driving, not me. I guess I brought bad luck just by being in the car. The girl even got out and said, "I really don't know whose fault this is". Really? From my vantage point, she looked left but not right. She didn't even see us pulling in. She didn't even stop or slow down once Jas blared the horn. She pulled out at such a bizarre angle she would've scraped the entire side of our car if we had been parked in the spot. So, I guess we should consider ourselves lucky? My conclusion = Totally her fault. We thought she was calling the police or her insurance agent but then she said this, "Okay, I don't want to worry you but I just had an accident". As a parent these words would've given your heart a pause, right? It was an accident, yes. I think a 'fender bender' would've been a better explanation. That's not a heart stopper. We had to wait a while before she was able to exchange information. She will probably need therapy after her little fender bender. She was a nervous Nelly. In the midst of all the information exchanging, Al pooped her pants. I guess it made her nervous too. Poor kid. Luckily there wasn't any major damage. Probably will just need to have the paint touched up instead of a whole new bumper. I'm just happy we were in the car this time. In Florida, we had two hit and run incidents with my car and Jas's truck. We had to pay the deductible to have the damage repaired both times. That was not fun.

Doomed

There are some days I should not leave the house. This was definitely one of them. This morning I got up early to shower, dress, eat and then get the kids ready to leave by 8:30. We actually managed to leave on time which is amazing. We arrived at my doctor's office by 8:50 and walked up to the door. It was locked. Hmmm. I put Al back in the truck and let Bug hang out in the front seat while I call the main line. I found out my appointment is actually this Friday at 9. The doctor is out of the office this morning. Great. I don't know how I mixed that one up.

As I'm putting Bug in his seat, the nurse shows up for work. Of course she does. There is no way I can just sneak away without anyone knowing I got the wrong day. Did I mention this is a very small office? It's just the nurse and the doctor...that's it. Of course she asked what I was doing there. Didn't I know my appointment was scheduled for Friday? Yep, we (kids and I) are such a show stopper the nurse KNOWS when we're coming in. They know to have lots of bandaids available for Bug to play with otherwise he starts telling poop stories. Mortified much? Yes I am.

We leave. And head for Sam's. I thought that since I was up and ready I could just knock out my Sam's list. Once again, all kids out of car and up to the door. It's locked to everyone but business members. Okay, I have a business card thanks to my inlaws. So I begin the search through my wallet. It's a very short search because I switched to my 'mugger wallet'. I'm neurotic okay. I keep reading about women with kids having their purses stolen while loading kids into cars. So, I switched to a small wallet with only one credit card and my I.D. I thought this would be easier if I did get mugged. Easier because there is only one credit card number to call instead of several. Well, damn it all, I didn't throw in my Sam's card.

I got tired of hearing the doors keep trying to open so we meandered back to the car. While trying to balance Al's car seat and unlocking the truck doors I see Bug sitting on the ground rubbing his hands all over the parking lot. 'What are you doing' is my question, of course. He says he's just nooking mama. Duh, silly me.

I didn't even attempt the Starbucks drive thru with the bus a.k.a. Jas's truck. We just came home and licked our wounds.

Found a hair salon!

I couldn't take it anymore. I've had two really bad hair days. Don't even try to be nice. I know when my hair has just had it. I googled hair salons in my area then I checked out their web sites. One of them listed Bios, which is great for me but not so great for them. I'm sorry in advance Dallas, but they all had Texas up-do's. I'm sure you'll agree that's not the look I'm going for. I don't even have enough hair for a Missouri tidal wave anymore. Remember that look? Ahhh, my senior pictures and the tidal wave. I just flashbacked to rolled jeans, doobies and tons of hair spray. Good times.

Anyway. The last site I looked at was called O'Hair. It was last because the name is corny. O'Hair. But really that's my problem, my damn o'hair. The site sucked me in. I loved the font. It was so daring. The stylists didn't list bios, thank goodness. The pictures of the salon showed the stylists at work. They were hip and in my fav color, black. It reminded me of the salon I left behind so I called for an appointment. Saturday at 11:15. We'll see how it goes.

Ladies, I am having a drink

I almost typed this: It's Wednesday and I've already experienced enough toddler calamities to last a lifetime. Then I realized I don't even know which day it is. I'm leaning toward Tuesday. Only because the weekly 'Gazette' wasn't in the driveway this evening. Still, after all this discussion of Tuesday vs. Wednesday I still couldn't tell you which day it is.

In the words of my Bug, this is what I been up to:

Bug is potty trained! Hip Hip Hooray!! No more $15.00 bags of pull ups. I'm going to buy something good with my savings. Now, to bring our high crashing down...Bug ran to the potty to 'peeing', threw the lid up (way too hard), the lid slammed into the back of the potty and then slammed back down on the seat. Sounds harmless right? Nope. In the middle of all the slamming was Bug's little (sorry, but he's 3 so it's little) wein. He screamed. I screamed. He cried. I wanted to cry due to the instant bruising. Needless to say the kid couldn't pee after that. He even bled. Can you even believe this story? Jeez. The little trooper climbed back on the potty the next day and hasn't missed a chance to potty like a big boy since.

We worked all weekend on the house. Unpacking boxes that were left till the end because they are full of things that just don't fit. We found a dump and have totally ruined my New Year's resolution by trashing all kinds of things that could've been recycled. Seriously though, they (D.C.) should make it easier for people to recycle moving boxes. #1-don't close down the recycle center down the street. #2-Be open more than three hours a week. I'm tired! But the house looks great and we're down to just a few remaining boxes.

Al is constipated. Sorry for gross stories but she's a baby. There just aren't many things you can do to relieve her. She's eating more than Bug. She even willingly opens her mouth these days for sweet potatoes and prunes. I've started giving her apple juice. I've tried warm baths and still not much of a reward in the end. Maybe tomorrow...

Male the dog went outside today and came in with a tick on her head. Great. I spent a LOT of time online ordering more flea/tick medication. I felt things crawling on my skin all day. I wore a wool sweater and I'm sure that was the culprit. Still. Gross.

Bath time...with 2 kids. To save time and back strain, I bathe the kids together. Al is in her infant tub in the big tub with Bug. They entertain each other which makes my life much easier. I had just cleaned the tub, filled Al's tub, filled the tub for Bug, placed him in the bath and ran next door to grab Al. Then I hear the screaming, "I pooping. Mommy I pooping NOW". Can't I get a little break? Nope. He made it to the potty for most but I still had to clean the entire tub all over again and run everyone more water. Of course he gets a lollipop for doing the deed on the potty so he was up late. Which means Al was up later than usual also. Which means the mama is really tired and needing 'me' time.

After running all the empty boxes to the front porch and straightening up the house and toy room, I'm having a damn drink.

After typing this, I realized I failed to include the biggest calamity of them all. Silly me. Day 2 of potty training, Bug used the bathroom all by himself. I was on the phone and thought he could handle things on his own. Note to self- never make this assumption again. Ever. He came running in a few minutes later and said, " I made a mess mommy. Don't spank my bottom". He didn't exaggerate at all. It was a big ole mess. He flushed an entire roll of t.p. including the cardboard roll. I fished out half of the cardboard mess and the rest must have gone on down. The bathroom floor looked like a pond. Which made the hallway a spillway. Instead of spanking his bottom, I included him in the cleanup process. After drying the floors upstairs, I ran the wet linens downstairs. I should've assumed the mess would leak through the ceiling downstairs. I didn't even consider the downstairs so it came as a big surprise when I got 'rained' on in the basement. Ugh. What a mess. It's dry now and we're renting thank goodness. Although this makes me wonder what is going on with the renters in my Florida home.